This stone beauty sits near the path into the woods in my backyard. She looks pretty serene considering the exciting life she’s led. She’s actually a famous actress, co-starring with Mike Meyers in The Love Guru. Legend has it he donated her along with other props from the movie to Habitat For Humanity. Lucky for me my sister Nads is a bargain magnet, and came across this incredible stash of decorative items one day at a local HFH ReStore. When I got the “head over here quick” text from her, I dropped everything, since I take these kinds of texts from her very seriously. When you hang around her, it’s not unusual to come across things like a $2500 Donna Karan suede skirt for $24.99. Or 6 pairs of gorgeous leather shoes and boots for $110 total. Or a famous Indian goddess who acted with Mike Meyers. You would take her texts seriously, too.
Anyway, it was love at first sight with her. I knew she was meant to be mine. And I also almost chose a huge garden urn, big enough that my husband could hide in it and scare the kids at Halloween. But I’d need a bigger house for that.
So I returned the next day with my hubby’s RV to take her home. Not caring one whit about practical matters where my heart is involved, I didn’t worry about the fact that she must have weighed 500 lbs. The nice people at Habitat for Humanity helped me load her into the back of the car, and off we went to bring her to her new home. It didn’t occur to me that there was no way we could get her out of the car, and that the car was supposed to be on it’s way to the dealer to be traded in for a new van, which we were using that same morning to leave for a family camping trip. So off she went with my very annoyed husband to Nissan, where the nice people there loaded her into our new van. And then we rounded up some neighbours to unload her and move her to her special spot in the back yard, so she didn’t have to join us on our family camping trip. Although I’m sure she would have loved Awenda Provincial Park.
Now she keeps an eye on us as we come and go in the back. I planted some sage in front of her, which seems like the right thing to plant for a goddess. I’m still totally in love with her. I think even the hubby has warmed up. And all the nice scratches she put into the RV during it’s last hour in our possession don’t even matter any more. Much.